Video game income will acount for drastic reductions in next semes-ter's
tuition charges. The games are bringing in five times the origi-nally
projected income.
Really/photo
LEARNING RESOURCE CENTER
Drive
Carrion
DATING MATERIAL
PROFIT ORG.
POSTAGE PAID
PERMIT #666
ST. FOOL, MONOSODA
vol. 58 decibels, no. 8 3900 beatles drove, st. fool, me 00000 halloween '82
Girls Nik
Pigs
New video games' income
reduces student tuition costs
by Jovan Gawkin'
A recent memo from the
dean's office has announced a
decrease in tuition costs for all
students. The possibility of
the decrease is due a phenom-enal
amount of unexpected in-come.
The source: video
games.
The games have brought in
more than the yearly projec-tion
in just the past two
months. If use of the machine
continues at this rate, the
machines will bring in more
money to Bethel College than
tuition and housing payments
according to White Justsoup,
dean of the college.
The video were games
moved to the large lounge in
the student union at the begin-ning
of this year. "I thought
they would be played more,
but I never expected results
like this," said Grog Heman,
director of managing resi-dents'
lives. "We may have to
double the number of ma-chines
we have."
"I spend any time I have
down here on the games," said
Murk England, one of the high
scorers on Ladybug, a generic
version of Pac Man. "It's just
by Him Sellsome
The faculty walked out
yesterday at 12 noon as last
minute proposals failed to
prevent the strike. "We did
our best to propose new study
plans with the Teachers' As-sociation,
but they wouldn't
budge," said Steve Good-winkle,
BSA president.
All classes have been can-celled
indefinitely due to the
teachers strike. Jim Spickel-mier,
campus pastor and lead-er
of the TA, said, "Students
so busy that I don't really get
the time I need on the screen to
develop my finger dexterity.
I'm still pretty good though.
Sometimes I practice off-cam-pus,
but it's -rust not the same."
Dun Morkensin, director of
programming residents' lives,
said it has been suggested that
games be placed in other loca-tions
throughout the campus
or that the Student Union be
open 24 hours a day. "We've
thought about putting them in
the dorms and even in some
other areas of the academic
complex, but we're waiting on
that for now."
"We can't keep the Student
Union open during chapel be-cause
student and faculty at-tendance
would decrease dra-matically."
He continued, "Off
the record, the only chance we
(staff and administration)
have to play the games in
peace is after hours."
A special honor will be giv-en
to Pac Man and the Ghost
during Founder's Week this
year to make them honorary
founders. They have been cho-sen
as representatives of the
video world because of the
large part they have played in
increasing video income.
haven't been spending the re-quired
40 study hours per
week for studying."
The teachers complain that
students were averaging far
below 40 study hours a week.
"A recent Carrion survey
showed that most students
weren't averaging even 20
study hours per week," said
Doc Dalton. "To show my
disapproval, I'm having my
corner removed."
"That survey was a real
cheap shot!" said student
Mike Dirks. "I study at least
21 hours a week."
"We proposed to study 30
hours a week in addition to
taking an increase in tuition
to compensate the teachers
for our wrongdoings," said
Goodwinkle.
The teachers turned down
the proposal and made one of
their own. It called for the
removal of all television sets
and stereos from all student
residences until study hours
increased.
Goodwinkle disagreed, say-ing,
"I can't miss the North
Stars hockey games or the
Hines and Berglund show on
radio station WLOL."
Said Spickelmier, "We have
other beefs, too. The TA is
proposing to lower students'
grades one letter for each
chapel absence." An anony-mous
faculty member denied
faculty solidarity on this is-sue.
"What if they rook to see
if we're in chapel?"
A meeting between the two
groups is scheduled for later
today. The TA is expected to
stand firm and call for the
renewal of the 40-hour study
week. "The students are will-ing
to reach a compromise,
but we won't give up easily,"
said a tired Goodwinkle.
An inside source has hinted
that a federal mediator may
be sought to resolve the strike.
No names were mentioned
but the source seems to think
that it will be former presi-dent
Richard .M. Nixon..
by Jovan Gawkin'
"I am WOMAN" is the
- theme for Nik Dag '82. Official
kick-off will be Monday in
chapel. Special speaker will be
Gloria Steinem, president of
National Organization of
Women.
Nik Dag, the Swedish ver-sion
of Sadie Hawkins, will be
the highlight of the year ac-cording
to Mom Prissico,
Campus Let's-Get-Coordinat-ed.
"The women will ask the
men of their choice the ques-tion
and that's all it takes."
The question this year is "Will
you be my male-chauvenist
pig?"
"We will have safety zones
for the guys," said Messly
Squirm, the other Campus Co-ordinate.
"They are safe near
any watering trough or when
eating silage."
Those accepting the propo-sition
will be given a snout
which they are to wear at all
times during the week. Men
caught without their snouts
will be placed in a pig pen
located in the coffeeshop.
Any man turning down the
first woman who asks him
runs the risk of not being
asked again. A master pig-list
will be located in the Student
Union where girls are to cross
off the name of any guy they
ask.
Friday night will feature a
concert by Helen Reddy. She
will perform her popular
songs "I am Woman" and
"You're So Vain."
Saturday afternoon couples
can attend a rematch between
Billy Jean King and Bobby
Riggs at the tennis court or
watch a racquetball game
with Marilyn Starr and Tricia
Brownlee taking on any male
competition.
Student study hours becomes cause for teacher strike
editorial
Editor utges
irresponsibility We do not have any reason to be responsible, to act
responsibly or to meet responsibilities as Christians. Why
should we? As Christians we are above such trivial
courtesies.
To make this point valid we shall look at specific
examples, applicable to all of us as members of a collegiate
community, where responsibility should play no part.
For people in a college setting, deadlines are to be thought
of as non-existent (or the day to maybe begin the project).
Students should feel no responsibility to have work done on
time or to meet the professor's objectives. Professors should
feel no responsibility to explain to students what is
expected to them or how their work should be done. This
non-responsibility also extends to our jobs. We should not
feel responsible to meet deadlines, do the amount of work in
our job description or explain why we have not done our
work.
Roommates seem to expect the impossible! We have to be
able to live our lives. Why should we clean-up after our-selves?
Why should we have to be quiet in the morning
when a roommate is sleeping? Why should we deny our
`roomie' the pleasure of sharing all their food with us? Since
they have the pleasure to live with us you would think they
could take care of cleaning the room.
There is no reason we should feel responsible in any of
these situations or in any others. We believe in Christ, not in
responsibility. jg
1101311 NAM IR
BMOMMUMOOM COMM
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puo=RMmEoMu UMM A11E1E10100
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“-Xian," Bethel's hottest new gospel team, will debut at the presidential inauguration in
November. Members of the group expressed hopes that the music would not "blow the
King away, man."
Xian has attracted a large public at Bethel. Said one fan, "They're really neat. Their
music is so special, and I just love their funnest concerts."
jovocl Go'AWIllec")r
Needo Bird/associate editor
the
Cordon
Trendy Nargerb/sports editor
Cri6gerA4°PekoPY editor
Dim Ropehond/photogrophy editor
Leory Scanus/editorial assistant
Couldbe Drier/editorial assistant
Flyin' Cumbersome/graphics
editor
Gone Stark/sports writer
Can Realty/photographer
Bonbon
Woodpecker/photogropher
14E6: 15 11-1E:
ANSINU5 10 WA
answer, from page 2
page 2 the Carrion holloween '82 october 29, 1982
Welcome Week
weighs anchor
by Clammy Sink
The Bethel Women's Choir
has cancelled its summer tour
because the Welcome Week
Staff is taking its show on the
road. This June, 53 crew mem-bers
and their captain, Char-lie
"Tuna" Retts, will be set-ting
sail for Europe.
"At first I thought the idea
to be quite stormy," Retts said,
"but now I see smooth sailing
in Europe."
Junior coordinator Sue
Suede said the theme verse
for the tour will be Matthew
27:17, "We took such a violent
battering from the storm that
the next day they began to
throw the cargo overboard."-
Senior coordinator Brian
Maddogfish said, "I don't
know about the rest of the
crew, but I just can't wait to
be a star there like I am here."
L.....The staff has scheduled
Iowan Collegiate Crossword
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37 Type of music 10 Regretful one
38 Doesn't eat 11 Vanderbilt and
39 The Sunflower State Lowell
40 Part of APB, to 13 Acquit
police 14 "The Lord is My
41 All-too common ----...
excuse (2 wds.) 15 Veal ----
43 Short opera solo 20 Extends across
47 Grotto 22 Turkic tribesmen
48 Part of the hand 23 Mr. Guinness
50 Made do 24 Spanish for wolf
51 Prevents 25 Retrace (3 wds.)
52 ---- Alte 26 Disproof
53 U.S. caricaturist 28 Ends, as a
54 Farm storage place broadcast (2 wds.)
29 Like Felix Unger
DOWN
30 Head inventory
32 Hurt or cheated
1 Conservatives' foes,35 Glided
for short 36 Lead minerals
2 Go ---- length 38 Coquette
(ramble) 40 Take - (pause)
3 Famous volcano 41 Finished a cake
4 Moves jerkily 42 Football trick
5 Hollywood populace 43 "Rock of ----"
6 Sheriff Taylor 44 Anklebones
7 "Golly" 45 Work with soil
8 ---- as an eel 46 Too
9 Size of some 49 New Deal organi-want-
ads (2 wds.) zation
answer, see page 2
The subject for this week's
Carrion was supposed to be
procrastination.
selves to that many." At"
Jim Sparkleburger, campus
pastor, will be chaperoning
the crew. He hopes this tour
will promote a sense of "corn-munity"
among the members.
Junior John Spazzle, a crew
member, said, "I know it'll be
a splashing success."
100,000 shows during their
eight-week stay overseas. "We
really want to minister to
people, but we don't want it to
be much more tiring than
Welcome Week," said Suede.
"We really had to limit our
ACROSS
1 Movie mogul Marcus
5 Heroic tale
9 Song syllable
12 The state of being
undamaged
15 Pal
16 Its capital is
Dacca
17 Nobel chemist
18 The art of putting
on plays
19 Pearson and Maddox
21 - Vegas
22 Drink to excess
23 - Hiss
26 Italian painter
27 Screenwriter Anita
28 Devilishly sly
31 Decline
32 Devices for
refining flour
33 Teachers organi-zation
34 Shore protectors
(2 wds.)
36 Machine part
The killer pothole has claimed four lives.
Ropehand/photo
october 29, 1982 the Carrion halloween '82 page 3
Student uniforms required
male. "I don't know what this
school is coming to."
President Brushaber shock- "Like saddle shoes—I'm
ed the Bethel community last sure," one freshman girl said.
week by announcing that Jim Spickelmier, campus
school uniforms will be re- pastor, offered his thoughts
by Funky Winkerbean quired student apparel. on the situation. "The uniform
The president pointed to of Bethel campus is a part of
parental requests as the rea- our distinctiveness. The uni-son
for the action. forms are like a promise to
"I have received an enor- live according to the rules of
mous number of calls from the Bethel community. Those
parents," said Brushaber, who do not want to wear
"They say the money they them do not have to come
have spent to help buy new here."
clothes for their children has Area business are prepar-now
surpassed tuition pay- ing for the revenue loss. Stores
ments. Something had to be are concentrating on the blue
done." socks and saddle shoes, hop-
The women's uniform con- ing to bring in some business.
sists of a navy blue plaid skirt "Bethel students were our
and vest, along with a white biggest customers," noted the
turtleneck sweater. Knee-high Rosedale Daytons store man-stockings
and saddle shoes ager. "This is terrible news
are also required. for us."
Included in the men's outfit
is the white turtleneck, navy
blue plaid pants and black
shoes.
Immediately after the an- by C. Paul Detty
nouncement, a student peti-tion
circulated urging the addi- The newest member of the
tion of an alligator emblem on biology department walked
the sweater. Questions were out of school this weekend,
also raised concerning the after a janitor left the door to
types of socks allowed with the lab area unlocked. The
the men's uniform. cadaver that was recently
Other students expressed purchased by the school was
anger and disbelief. discovered missing on Mon-
"I just don't know what to day morning. According to
do," cried on sophomore fe- Tim "The Knife" Shaw, in-male.
"I guess I might as well structor in biology, the dis-rent
a U-Haul and take my section of the cadaver was to
wardrobe back home." take place that morning. "I'm
"First the Beef Board and really beginning to get wor-now
this!" screamed a junior ried," said Shaw. "I was really
Valentine.
"I was just strolling along
thinking of hermeneutics
when this white-ish glow
caught my eye," said Aaron
- Godschild. Remembering the
knew that he needed to call
security immediately. When
security guards arrived at the
scene, an astounding sight met
their eyes. "I was totally taken
aback," said Maynard Beef-cakes,
the night watchman.
According to Beefcakes, the
alleged cadaver was snoring.
"I thought I was dreaming, it
just seemed so bizarre," said
"Beefy."
Apparently the cadaver that
was sent from the U of M was
not a cadaver at all. Accord-ing
to a spokesman for the U,
a student, one Leonard Burf-terd,
apparently lay down on
the display table for a nap
while skipping a religion class
last Thursday.
"When I woke up, I realized
I wasn't in the same place
where I laid down," said Burf-terd.
He left the school and
began roaming aimlessly
around and eventually ended
up down by the lake. The
stunned student was imme-diately
taken home where he
is reportedly in good condi-tion,
aside from feeling dead
tired. o
N
looking forward to the dissec-tion,
too."
A search was begun imme-diately
for the lost body. All
areas of the school were
searched, but to no avail. "I
just don't see how a cadaver
could have gotten up and
walked away," said Shaw.
As the day continued, hope
was all but abandoned that
the body would ever be found,
but then a student en route
from the college to the semi-nary
noticed a faint white
glow in the bushes surround-ing
the shores of tranquil Lake
o events of the day, G dschild
Pot holes
take 4 lives
by Bedorah Neldaughter
Four students died when
their car plunged into a pot-hole
on Bethel Drive last Fri-day.
The casualties, identified
as Ulie Jelsholtz, Nindy Cel-son,
Iintchel Manderson, and
Beal Nernards, were on their
first Bethel date.
"It's a tragedy that they
should die doing such a rare
and happy thing," said Mor-gan
Wallbanger, Harvey's
brother.
When the crater-sized pot-hole
swallowed the victims,
the car was totaled but did
not explode like cars do on
TV.
The pothole is the second in
a series of six near Edgren
Residence.
"I don't know how they
could have missed it," said
Wallbanger. "They drove
around it before."
Officials speculated the
pothole was smaller earlier,
but rain washed it out and
increased its radius another
five feet.
"I noticed the pothole was
bigger," said Hike Manley. "I
was out walking in the rain
and saw all these worms. on
the sidewalk. I wrote a letter
about the worms to my mom
back in Alaska. We don't have
worms back there when it
rains, you know. Anyway,
when I noticed the worms I
also noticed that pothole and
how big it had gotten."
"Potholes and parking,"
said a Bethel road mainte-nance
worker, "pose major
problems for us right now.
During September we fixed
some of the road by Arden
Village East, but we can't get
our tractors into the area by
Edgren; the road is too rugged."
For the next few days the
victims will lie in state (Min-nesota)
in the Coffee Shop
during chapel to discourage
students from loitering there.
A memorial collection is
planned by the roommates of
the victims, entitled "The
Manderson-Jelsholtz-Celson-
NernardsFund for the Promo-tion
of Dating."
Abra-Cadaver: body disappears
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Eager Bethel male checks Date-Mates print out.
Really/photo
111/1116 41/711 411111111
Mil MUM r =17011firs=
Our philosophy of student government at a Christian
college is three-fold. First and foremost, the motivation
helps to explore the legiti- "I think it's important for
mate role of film as art and us to exercise our rights as
the unique ways in which citizens in voting," Goodwin
film helps us to see ourselves told the senators.
and the world. In all cross country meets
The Mexican govern- the team score is determined
ment has good diplomatic re- by the fastest five runners on
lations with countries such as each team.
Red China and Cuba,
"I don't think I'll ever be According to Postema, Chris-able
to stop coaching tians have long mistrusted,
there," he said. "Kids are serious film and seen it only
really important to me." as entertainment.
Job Corp is for indivi-
It also has 80 groups duals ages 16-20 that are
which meet in different sec- looking for something to
tions of the city, reaching out (-i wit h t h e i r lives of
to the lower and lower-middle great importance to the Bethel
class population. community.
Secondly, Student Senate must represent the diverse
viewpoints, interests and organizations found among
its constituents. The ten-member team prac-
I grew up at Bethel tices daily, often covering 10
and got the discipline I miles in preparation for the
needed.
The actions of the So- weIenk lrye smpeoentss.e , John Young,
viet Union do not justify sophomore senator, said,
great confidence in the So- however, that the results of
viets' desire for peace. the survey could not be ig-
Bethel showed me nored.
that people care. This would not be a unity of
uniform thought and action, but a unity of cooperation
and understanding; a unity dependent on diversity.
page 4
the Carrion halloween '82
october 29, 1982
Quality date information
available from computer
by Jovan Gawkin'
Date-Mates, a new compu-ter
dating service, will be
available to interested male
students and faculty on Nov.
1. Date-Mates is operated by
computer science student Dan
Desperado.
Desperado said he's sick of
waiting around for women to
ask him and he just does not
have time to evaluate the Ros-ter
to find women to ask out.
"I decided to make my
move," he said. "This service
has information on all the
women at Bethel: those not
dating, those dating, those en-gaged
and those married.
Other important information
is also included."
Dr. Dill Boyle, professor of
computers, says Desperado
started the whole program as
a basic computer program for
organizing information. Boyle
said he sees the service as ben-eficial
and having great poten-tial
if it is expanded to include
consortium schools. Boyle
stated that some girls in the
computer class are planning to
start their own program of eli-gible
men and that they hope
to have it ready by Nik Dag.
"They were the ones who
came up with the idea to pro-gram
to other consortium
schools," said Boyle.
"There just isn't enough
man-quality on our campus,"
said Linda Loveless, computer
student. "This just will pro-vide
a wider selection. Some-thing
we would just really like
to do is collect feedback from
the girls after their first date
so we can include a ranking of
the guys-on our printout."
The purchasing outs will be
done through the student af-fairs
office. The print out will
include a list of students, dat-ing
status, if they have trans-portation,
cooking abilities,
the number of Bible courses on
their transcripts, and nights
available.
by Dill Pickle
Last night in Stockholm,
Sweden, before a crowd of
screaming young women, Don
Mortenson received the Nobel
Peace Prize. Mortenson, the
dirctor for residence life at
Bethel, won the award for dis-covering
the historic fountain
of youth.
Acording to Mortenson it
was all an accident. One after-noon
Mortenson decided to
take a walk on the Bethel cam-pus.
He hoped for inspiration
on the wellness program.
As Mortenson walked along
the creek which cuts through
the campus, he thought it
might be fun to race a couple
of sticks down the creek. Tho-roughly
involved in this play
Mortenson unknowingly me-andered
off into the thick
woods of the adjoining semi-nary.
Not wanting to get lost, he
decided to quit the game and
head back to school. However,
he could not help but notice a
bubbling sound coming from a
nearby ditch. Being the direc-tor
of resident life, and know-ing
the reputation of Sem Hill
as a frequent rendezvous for
couples, Mortenson decided to
check things out.
To his surprise Mortenson
found a spring in the ditch.
Assuming it was a fresh-wa-ter
spring, he dipped his
handy canteen into the spring
to bring back some water for
fellow director of resident life,
Greg Hamann.
After sampling the water,
both directors felt totally reju-venated
and proceded to get
high scores on the video
games.
"It is the fountain of youth!"
said Hamane.
"No, it is a gold mine!" re-plied
Mortenson.
Mortenson has been secre-tive
about the location of the
spring. "It could be a dan-gerous
thing in the right
hands," he noted.
Don Mortenson wins Nobel Prize.
Really/photo
Mortenson was recognized
by the Nobel selection com-mittee
because the water has
been used for the good of man-kind.
It is now known that the
spring water (or as Mortenson
calls it, "Morterier") was a
principle factor in the Middle-
East peace talks, the recent
Camp David summit, and the
Bethel Student Union debate
on the Beef Board.
Morterier has gained the re-spect
of many celebrities;
many were on hand in
Stockholm for the presenta-tion.
"Well, now," said P-resident
Reagan, "Mort is one of the
great people of this country
making our nation strong."
"He can be very threaten-ing,"
said Arnold Schwartz-enauger.
"We are very high on him,"
said Viking head coach Bud
Grant.
Mortenson, however, has
tried to avoid public attention
at all costs. "I have received
offers for large sums of mon-ey,
positions of power and the
job of director of resident life
at Wheaton College. But it is
important for me to remain
humble. After all, anyone
could have discovered the wa-ter."
Nevertheless Mortenson
has agreed to appear in a
made-for-television movie on
his quest for Morterier.
Reactions to Mortenson's
new-found fame have been
mixed on Bethel campus.
"Big deal," was the popular
response in the weight room.
"Anyone can race sticks,"
said Rod Long, director of
housing.
"He's simply dreamy,"
chanted a chorus of young
women.
"It couldn't have happened
to a nicer guy," said his wife
Dawn.
A Russian submarine was
spotted last week submerged
in the treacherous waters of
lake Valentine. Minutes later,
through a well-organized and
efficient attack, the Bethel
security unit, under the able
command of Physical Plant
Director Jim Beam, captured
the sub.
Elvira Mickelsen, assistant
professor of journalism, spot-ted
the submarine. She noticed
it while jogging around Lake
Valentine. "As I was trying to
get the kinks out of my cast
by running, I looked out over
the lake and saw this peri-scope
sticking out of the
water," said Mickelsen. "I
thought to myself, 'Oh no!
This means trouble,' so I
kicked it into high gear and
sprinted back to campus to
tell Beam.
Beam told of the whole ex-perience
this way: "After we
were alerted to the presence
of an intruder, I rounded up
the entire maintenance crew.
We loaded up the canoes that
are docked by the lake and set
out for sea. We surrounded
the sub and forced it to sur-face
by dropping lutefisk
charges. We captured the 6-
man Soviet crew and imme-diately
ticketed them for park-ing
illegally in a fire lane.
"All of them refused to talk
about themselves and their
reasons for being here," said
Beam. "We used every means
of torture we could possibly
think of. The captain finally
gave in when we threatened
to force him to take out a
Bethel girl. He figured that
was a fate worse than death,
so he told all."
"As it turned out, the mis-sion
came to Bethel to spy on
the Swedes," said Beam.
"Since their last attempt off
the coast of Sweden was foil-ed,
they decided to put plan B
into action. They figured since
Bethel has the next largest
concentration of Swedes in
the world, it would be the
second best target."
It has been rumored that
when the Swedish royalty
visits Bethel, Beam and the
entire maintenance crew will
be given special medals in
recognition of service beyond
the call of duty in the interest
of preserving Bethel's Scan-dinavian
heritage.
11/4
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Soviet sub
fished out,
crew tortured
by Pamby Legersen
Surprise spring brings guy surprise
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october 29, 1982
the Carrion halloween '82
page 5
Johnny and Wally take rides
from strangers
sports
New IM
sports for
You to
try •
by Todd Erickson
Nov. 1 will mark the first
day of action for the IM Water
Polo league, just formed this
year.
According to IM head hon-cho
Claig Hlauglan, there are
eight teams signed up and
ready to go, despite the fact
that a recent survey indicated
only 17 people at Bethel know
what water polo is.
Hlauglan thinks that the
decision to hold games in Lake
Valentine is a good one.
"The clear, clean, unclutter-ed
waters of Lake Valentine
should make for some really
exciting matches," said Hlaug-lan.
The IM department was
also able to secure funding for
the installment of bleachers
on Sem Hill, so fans can enjoy
this exciting aquatic action.
"Sem Hill is never used for
anything anyway," noted
Hlauglan, "so we thought it
would be a perfect place for
the bleachers."
The team members are ex-cited
and ready to go. Sopho-more
Mitch Ohlendoof, cap-tain
of the Fetid Marshes,
said that he is really looking
forward to seeing his team's
abilities this season.
"I'm really looking forward
to seeing my team's abilities
this season," said Ohlendoof.
This fall will herald the
fourth year of the annual
Super Toe Tournament, to be
held in the Robertson Physi-cal
Chapel-type Education
Gym Building Fieldhouse
Center.
Sophomore Gregg Nelson,
last year's champion, is this
year's tournament favorite.
He holds the record with a
Super Toe kick last year of 17
yards, 5 inches.
Strong competition will
come from a fellow named
Rick Danmeier, who -is pre-senting
out of work and hop-ing
to collect the prize money.
First prize is 16 tax-free
dollars from the Bethel Video
Game Donkey Kong Memo-rial
Fund. Second prize is a
night on the town with Rich
Almeroth, while third prize is
two nights on the town with
Rich Almeroth.
1 here is d rumor thclt eX-by
Gone Stark
Photographic evidence and
a subsequent admission by
the accused has revealed that
John Clark received illegal
assistance during his triumph
in a recent home cross coun-try
meet.
The pictures revealed that
Clark flagged down a ride at
the three-mile mark of the
five-mile race and was trans-ported
to a spot less than a
mile from the finish. Clark
then got out and ran in to an
easy win:
"I figured that it it would
work for Rosie Ruiz it would
work for me," said Clark.
Clark also said that he
shin bone?
wasn't the only Royal runner
to try motorized means of
competition in the race.
"Wally (Greg Wallace) was
going to ride with me," said
Clark. "but they only had room
for one rider so I hopped in
alone. Wally would've finish-ed
second instead of third if
he hadn't had to wait so long'
for another ride to come."
Wallace was genuinely dis-appointed
that the story had
come to light but much more
disheartened by his perfor-mance
in the race.
"I certainly was capable of
a much better performance,"
said Wallace. "I can't ever
remember having to wait so
long for a ride. You'd have
thought I had the plague or
something the way traffic was
going by me."
Cross country coach Steve
Whittaker was shocked when
news of Clark and Wallace's
automobile antics was an-nounced.
"I am greatly disturbed by
by Trendy Norberg
Synchronized swimming is
really making waves among
the Bethel PE faculty. The
group, diverse in its sport
interests, has long been look-ing
for one sport which would
unify instructors and coaches
injuries on the field, we've
found that it has helped many
players in running patterns,"
said Weiser, "Defenders have
a hard time telling whether
running backs and receivers
are coming or going."
Kicker Erf Berferd has
found that the transplant adds
at least 15 yards to his kick-offs
with the increased flexi-bility.
"Before the transplant I was
limited to the flexibility in my
hip," said Berferd. "Now with
the use of my knee, or wrist,
or whatever it is, I get much
better whip on my kicks."
this and they will be dealt
with severely," said an out-raged
Whittaker. "I told them
to make sure no one was
around when they did it. I can
assure you that they will work
on their technique until they
get it right."
in a group effort. "We have
found it in the water ballet"
said Coach Dave Klostreich.
George Palke can be cred-ited
with the discovery. At a
department meeting last
spring he happened to men-tion
his enthusiasm for the
sport and was amazed at the
response of his co-workers.
"We knew right then it was
what we'd been looking for"
said women's athletic direc-tor
Cindy Book. Klostreich
was unanimously appointed
coach because of his back-ground.
"I was team captain
and three-year letter winner
in high school" he said
modestly.
The entire PE staff is in-volved
and has religiously at-tended
Sunday evening prac-tices
since last April. Craig
Dahl and Neal Dutton have
been spotted brushing up on
back somersaults and pirouet-tes
in the nearby McGuires
pool and are, according to
Book, "two of our most dedi-cated
members."
Klostreich feels the group
needs more time before it will
be ready for a public perfor-mance.
"It takes years to de-velop
true expertise and the
necessary endurance," he said,
"but this team seems to have
what it takes."
Gregg Nelson (far left) shows that his championship Super Toe form
is effective even in the dark—thanks to the photographer.
Ropehand/photo
The medical researchers
came up with the artificial
by Gone Stark wrist to be placed where the
knee joint was previously. The
The Bethel Medical Re- extended flexibility of the
search Center has made a dis- -wrist should help greatly in
covery that could be of much eliminating the injuries caused
help to the Royal football pro- by the knee's inability to bend
gram and Other contact sports more than one direction.
within the college. Football coach Bud Weiser
A rash of football knee in- was excited by the discovery
juries prompted doctors to and feels that not only will
find ways to curtail the trauma the artificial wrist reduce in-involved.
Artificial knees are juries, but may even improve
good replacements for major play on the field for his Royal
injuries, but the doctors squad.
sought a more preventative "Although the (artificial)
device. wrist was made to reduce
The wrist bone's connected to the .. .
PE staff opts to
sink or swim together
John Clark was caught getting mid-race rides in last weekend's cross
country meet. Clark recommends this technique for a fast time and an
easy win.
Ropehand/photo
Hi MOIAl.
