Helpless, but happily so, Al Selander, Dave 'Andy' Anderson, Linda Carol Olsen and Jill Graham await
their fates at the hands of Control Data's Computer.
Volume XLI—No. 18
Bethel College and Seminary, St. Paul, Minn. Thursday, March 9, 1967
Computer Finagles Bethel Gathering,
Reveals Ideal Girl For Bethel Man
The computers have done their
work. The fate of some 315 Bethel
men and women has been sealed.
Those that have desperately cast
Hardcourt Game
Supports SPAN
The traditional Koffee Kup game,
next to perhaps a half time powder
puff contest, is one of the most
gruesome sports activities on cam-pus.
This annual event, traditionally
a contest between the more inept
staff members, and this year, the
cream of the Senate, is set for the
7:30 hour on March 17, Friday, in
the fieldhouse.
Jim Johnson, skipper of the fa-culty
five, has declined any com-ment
on faculty game strategy,
whereas Bruce Armstrong, who
will head the cream of the Senate
was not available for comment.
The unsinkable Ledkins-King duo
will provide running commentary
for the game.
The Koffee Kup game is a
means of raising funds for the
annual Student Project For Amity
Among Nations. This year's Span-ner's,
Jonathan L. Larson, a n d
Mark Watkins are headed for a
summer in Israel where they in-tend
to spend their time on one
of the famous kibbutz communi-ties
located in such underdevelop-ed
areas as the Negeb and the
Galilean Hills. (See next week's
feature article).
Students Brace
For 'Experience'
That time of year has come a-gain
when the Sophomores and
Seniors face a gruelling battery of
tests. A release from the Regis-trar's
Office states that all Seniors
and Sophomores must take these
tests.
They will be administered in
Room 106 for both Seniors and
Sophomores on Wednesday, from
8:45 A.M. to 12:30 P.M. The sec-ond
series will be given to the
Sophomores on Thursday from 8:45
to 11:30 and to Seniors on the
same day from 12:30 to 4:30. All
those involved in student teaching
this semester will take the test
Saturday, March 18, at 8:00 A.M.
in Room 106.
This testing program is admin-istered
annually to help keep check
on Bethel's educational product as
well as supply important informa-tion
to prospective employers and
graduate institutions. A booklet
describing the Graduate Record
Examination for Seniors is avail-able
to seniors in the Registrar's
Office. The Sophomore tests known
as the Sequential Tests of Educa-tional
Development will have ques-tions
in the following areas: writ-ing,
social studies, reading, science,
and mathematics.
their fate to the winds—er compu-ters,
will assemble for the reve-lation
of their computer matches
on Friday, March 11.
Because of the unusually large
number of deperados, the compu-ter
party will be planned in two
shifts, the first counting off at
7:00 P.M. and the second at 8:15
running until about 9:30.
Jill Graham stated that match
mongers will be given a number
at the outset of the social and
will spend the first few minutes
locating their match for the ev-ening.
The computer dictums have ar-rived
in the Senate Office. Accord-ing
to the mater's analysis, the
Bethel men are looking for an ideal
ranging from 5'4" to 5'6", weigh-ing
between 114-122 pounds, (girls
described themselves as weighing
between 122 and 130) with blonde
hair, (most Bethel girls actually
have brown) blue eyes, sporting an
above average intelligence. Men
are looking for girls that are at-
NORMAN LUBOFF
CHOIR
This Friday
At
8:00 P.M.
Norton Fieldhouse
(Hamline University)
in the
Bethel Concert Series
tractive (most Bethel women de-scribed
themselves as such) and
18 years old.
Most of the men involved de-scribed
themselves as outgoing
but thoughtful, as did the girls.
But both men and women agreed
that they would probably not
kiss on the first date. Moreover,
men are more skeptical than
their counterparts. In responding
to the story that a coed came
in at 2:30 P.M. because her boy-friend's
car broke down, the men
claimed there was insufficient
data to make a judgment where-as
the girls were more sympa-thetic
and chose to support their
coed's predicament.
Most Bethel students would find
it possible to support an invitation
to an outstanding liberal theolo-gian
to speak on campus, whereas
men supported the proposition
more strongly than the women.
Generally speaking, civil rights
and Vietnam ranked as leading
national problems, with the men
inclined toward concern for the
draft.
Participating in a sport event
ranked as the leading men's activi-ty
where women indicated they
would rather watch. Listening to
music ranked a significant second
for the girls.
In interest areas, men chose
psychology and their counter-parts
selected sociology as the
favorite interest area.
The computer has chosen its
Miss Match, the title conferred on
the girl who was most matchable,
i.e. who fit most closely the average
men's ideal.
tions into the Yukon and Alaska,
six summers on the Canadian prai-ries,
and four pack trips into the
American and Canadian Rockies.
In June 1963 Mr. Grant went as
cinematographer on a Milwaukee
Public Museum expedition to An-gola,
Africa. After finishing this
assignment he remained in Africa
three months more to shoot his
own films, and in 1964 went back
to Africa again for a five month
one-man safari. During this time
he concentrated on photographing
lion and elephant.
"Cleve" Grant has been inter-ested
in wildlife since his boyhood
in western Wisconsin. He has early
memories of ruffed grouse, prairie
chicken, white-tailed deer, and the
adventures of fishing on the Chip-pewa
and Red Oedar Rivers.
He attended Oberlin College, and
following graduation, joined the
staff of Field Museum, now Chi-cago
Natural History Museum.
Since 1932, Mr. Grant's hobby of
filming wildlife has been his full-time
vocation. Among his many
contributions has been shot-in-the-wild
footage for Walt Disney's True
Life Adventure series.
"Winter Comes to Alaska", the
film to be shown at the convoca-tion
on Tuesday, was filmed at
timberline on the Alaska Range in
autumn. The changing of the tun-dra
from green to gold to red to
black (caused by the frost) and
finally to the white of the snow
are captured in the film. The shed-ding
of the huge antlers of the bull
moose and caribou, the new aut-umn
coats of the fox and grizzlies,
and the Dall Sheep coming down
from their high summer range are
among the features of this Alaskan
expedition.
In the evening, the film "Sou-thern
Africa Safari" will take view-ers
through the Transvaal, Rho-desia,
Mozambique, Natal, and
Cape Province. Some highlights of
this adventure will include: Pre-toria
with its Parliament buildings
and university, colorful native vil-lages,
diamond mines, the world's
largest orange groves, lush jungles
and brilliant flowers, and a variety
of wildlife, including lion, hippo-potamus,
elephant, giraffe, zebra,
rhino, baboon, and scores of beau-tiful
tropical birds.
Coyote photographed by Cleveland Grant who will be on campus
this Tuesday, March 14.
Exotic Film Shows Alaska, Africa
Wildlife, Monuments Spotlighted
Would you like to go on an Afri-can
Safari or an expedition to
Alaska? Well, you'll have your
chance on Tuesday, March 14, when
wildlife photographer Cleveland P.
Grant brings his personally narrat-ed
films, "Winter Comes to Alaska''
and "Southern Africa Safari", to
Bethel campus.
The first film will be shown at
a 9:45 a.m. convocation in the
fieldhouse and the second at 7:30
p.m. in the college auditorium.
Mr. Grant has spent much time
and effort trying to obtain the
most revealing and detailed shots
of wild bird and animal behavior.
His films have special interest for
universities and colleges and nat-ural
history museums and socie-ties.
For the past 30 years, Mr. Grant
and his wife, Ruth, have produced
at least one new film each year
They have traveled over most of
North America, including expedi-
Instructor Analyzes China Turmoil;
Sees Opening Rift In Party System
the CLARION Thursday, March 9, 1967
To the students of Bethel College:
As academic Chairman, I believe that one of my responsibilities to
the student body is to publically state all grievances of students rele-vant
to our academic community. Through personal experience and
through informal discussion with other students, I have discovered
a department which has evinced a dubious reputation within the cur-riculum
of liberal arts. The department is Phsyical Education. The
accusations against it may be summarized by the term "pseudo-aca-demic."
Clarification is necessary.
The Physical Education department is pseudo-academic because it
uses grades which carry no honor points to acknowledge physical achieve-ments.
The Physical Education department is pseudo-academic because it
requires papers. I am not condemning the use of papers per se. There
is some justification in certain classes. But my attention has been
drawn to the inclusion of irrelevant topics within the papers, i.e. the
correlation between weightlifting and Christianity. Indeed, if the cor-relation
exists, then it is an interesting one; but if not, there has been
a misallocation of the student's time.
Other grievances which are directly and indirectly connected to
the student's academic pursuits have also come to my attention and,
likewise, to the attention of Student Senate.
Let it be known that I am not at all certain of the magnitude of
student's discontent or the extent of your grievances; therefore, I ask
that you notify me concerning any of your grievances and solutions. 1
am also very curious to know how many students are completely satis-fied
with the status quo.
Mr. Shields, instructor in Physical Education, has graciously con-sented
to represent the department in committee hearings. I do not,
however, want to impose upon him if the grievances are only those of
a select few. I must know if committee hearings and investigation are
warranted. Please contact we either on campus or phone me at home-
646-1198. I am interested in hearing both sides.
If I have misinterpreted student sentiment then a letter of apology
will follow. Should I be correct, however, then committee work will
begin.
Richard Runbeck
Academic Committee Chairman
ship is applicable in the business
world. But we must first know
where we shall be employed in
order to apply the standards of
Christian love that Bethel teaches
us. In other words, where are the
jobs and how much do they pay?
As any economist knows the tithe
is a function of income and not
income a function of the tithe.
We, however, are not all bark
and no bite. As a club we hope to
put our money where our mouths
are. A little money in the stock
market is a good experience of
the sting of loss and the joy of
gain. Any investment is purely
voluntary and in no sense can it
be obligatory. Please do not feel
that in order to belong to the club
Ed. Note—Mr. Crabtree is an instructor in the
Bethel History Dept. He is currently a doctoral
candidate at the U. of Minnesota. Mr. Crabtree
spent a summer at Harvard studying Mandarin
Chinese. He is planning to move to a college in
Colorado next semester.
by Loren Crabtree
In writing about the American involvement in
China from 1941 to 1947, the able scholar Herbert
Feis termed the situation the "China Tangle." China
watchers of today find the enigmatic East Asians
no less difficult to understand.
In the 1950's, for example, most analysts serenely
proclaimed that there would never be a serious
power struggle among the elite group surrounding
Mao Tse-tung, and yet the upheaval in China during
the last 18 months has focussed in this very group.
Any explanation of the current China, scene, there-fore,
must of necessity be quite tentative, but there
are a few preliminary perspectives which provide
some measure of insight into the current "cultural
revolution."
First, it is abundantly clear that Mao Tse-tung
is the guiding force behind the Red Guards and the
`thought reform" of the intellectuals. Mao's motives
are less easily discerned, but it is quite probable
that he is seeking to recapture the revolutionary
fervor of the regime's earlier days and thereby
ensure that after his death he will not suffer the
same kind of character assasination which Stalin's
ghost encountered in the U.S.S.R. after 1956.
Second, the primary objects of Mao's campaign
the "technicians", i.e., those who are responsible
for keeping Chinese society on an even keel. In
any maturing totalitarian society, there is inevitable
conflict between the ideologues, who insist upon the
immutable veracity of their value system in all
situations, and the technicians, who recognize that
the ideology must change and adapt to meet prac-tical
problems of growth and development.
It is significant that the man most virulently
attacked by Mao and the Red Guards, Liu Shao-ch'i,
is the head of the governmental apparatus and that
the primary opposition to the outrages of the Red
Guards has come from Liu's lieutenants in the govern-ment.
Thus, the current upheaval in China may be
regarded, in part at least, as another example of
the conflict between those who must believe and those
who must act.
Third, the attacks on Liu Shao-ch'i are also sig-nificant
in that they reveal a split in the leader-by
Leonard Sammons
Hanoi and Washington
The North Vietnamese have re-leased
a recording which they al-lege
is of the voice of a downed
U.S. pilot. They claim he says that
the U.S. bombing of North Viet-nam
is ordered by President John-son.
Pentagon (five-sided) sources
say that there is no way of test-ing
the genuiness of the recording.
Washington
A Presidential Commission has
recommended sweeping changes in
the draft. They recommend that
nineteen-year olds be drafted first
that you must invest, but your
money is as welcome as you are.
As Jesus once said, "Seek first
the kingdom of God and his right-eousness,
and all these things will
be yours as well." Jesus is right,
but we must also recognize that
kernel of truth found in Adam
Smith and Karl Marx.
If you are interested then come
to the club meetings or talk to
Marvin Flodin, Bruce Julian or my-self,
Rich Runbeck. Actually, any
mundane student who talks with
dollar signs in his eyes can inform
you about the events of this club.
Respectfully yours,
Richard Runbeck
Secretary-Treasurer of B.E.C.
ship between pro- and anti-Soviet cliques. China
scholars have long speculated that the Moscow-trained
elite, of who Liu is most prominent, are
opposed to many of the programs sponsored by
Mao, who has been out of China only once and
who apparently still believes that China is the
center of the universe.
Until the "cultural revolution" there had been
no significant evidence to support this theory, but
now it appears that there indeed is a split between
rabidly "ethnocentric" leaders such as Mao and more
cosmopolitan leaders such as Liu. The implications
of this for Sino-Soviet relations are great indeed, since
which clique triumphs determines in large part
what kind of foreign policy the Chinese will pursue.
Finally, some of the most interesting and per-plexing
features of the power struggle are the super-ficial
parallels with the evolution of the Russian
Communist state. The Chinese purge, for example,
began just 17 years after the founding of the regime.
The comparable stage in the Soviet Union, the great
purges of 1934-1938, also began just 17 years after
the Bolshevik takeover in 1917.
In both cases, the subjects of the purge were
members of the elite ruling group, and Mao, like
Stalin in the 1930's, appears to be seeking to
solidify both his present rule and his future
reputation through the purges. Furthermore, ex-tremism
in both rhetoric and practice is being
used today in China as it was in Russia in the 1930's.
If these and other parallels are significant and in-dicate
a common pattern of development, then it is
possible that the "technicians" will survive the cur-rent
turmoil and eventually triumph in China as
they have in Russia, and that Chinese Communism
will moderate even as the Soviet Union's has. In this
event, the current chaos in China will appear to fu-ture
historians as only a phase—albeit an unfortunate
one—in the evolution of the Chinese state toward
rationality, and not as the great Armageddon of
Communist rule in China. It is not likely, then, that
the Communist regime will fail as a result of the
"cultural revolution;" rather, it is likely that after
Mao's death there will be significant moderation in
the ideology and practice of Chinese Communism.
The "China Tangle" of today is significant, then,
not because it indicates the weakness or decadence
of the Communist regime, but because it is a critical
stage in the agonizing evolution of a totalitarian
state toward domestic maturity and international
responsibility.
Commission was not perfect, Mr.
Garrison is not either.
Bismarck
The North Dakota Legislature
adjourned leaving themselves work
yet to do on tax reform. They did
not seem to care. Looks like they
have been taking lessons from the
Student Senate.
Yemen
The bitter strife that has actu-ally
physically divided Yemen for
several years between Royalist
(backed by Faisal of Saudi Arabia)
and Republican (backed by Nassar
of the UAR) broke into the open,
again last week. Officials said they
hoped another cease-fire could be
arranged. Big deal! A lot of good
it will do! All they ever do is cease
and resume fire. Maybe the Viet
Cong would do likewise if given
a chance.
the CLARION
Published weekly during the academic year,
except during vacation and examination
periods, by the students of Bethel collage
and seminary, St. Paul 1. Minn. Subscrip-tion
rate $3 per year.
Editor-in-chief Jonathan P. Larson
Sports Editor Lynn Bergfalk
Layout Editor Jane Bergeson
Photography George Saunders
Business Manager John Tegenfeldt
Advisor Wallace Nelson
Opinions expressed in the CLARION do not
necessarily reflect the position of the college
or seminary.
Page 2
Student Interest Groups
Parade Of Appurtenance
It is appalling how little time people have! On closer look,
however, the careful inverstigator will be impressed with the
proportionate number of defunct organizations which live
solely in campus files, calendars, and publications. It would
not be hard to cite five or six campus organizations which
seem to have a thriving membership but have little or no
active program.
The liberal arts college, by comparison to a large univer-sity
is at a decided disadvantage. A teeming university has
enough odd balls in the crowd to maintain healthy competition
for campus offices and places of leadership. In contrast,
the liberal arts college is habituated by well-adjusted, normal,
well-rounded people that have no desire to champion flag-ging
interest organizations.
Consequently, the liberal arts college if it is not careful
will become cluttered with large numbers of clubs that have
lost their inertia. These clubs become deadweight barnacles
to interest pursuit of any kind. Students at Bethel have not
been outspoken or honest enough to maintain a dialectic club
program which caters to the changing campus interests.
Organizations are for people, people are not for organi-zations.
To those who find organizations an apology for re-sponsibility,
as well as for those who are trapped in a rigid
system of interest clubs, we must take a second look at the
usefulness and desirability of present groups that shelter the
indolent and retard development of new more exciting groups.
Letter:
Academic Head Proposes Meet
"Blessed are the Meek, for they
shall inherit the earth."
Calling all meek persons and any
others who are interested in re-ceiving
their inheritance—there is
now on campus a group formally
known as the Business and Eco-nomics
Club. The purpose of this
club is to promote better under-standing
of our free and competi-tive
enterprise system. In other
words we wish to introduce Bethel
students to the real world.
Are we the men of little faith?
Are we the ones who are anxious
about what we shall eat, drink or
wear? YES!
Seriously, we feel the need to
understand how Christian steward-
Local Business Fanatics Launch Club ;
Propose Stock Market Investment Project
veetedwoldv Etiepet9a--
and that college deferments b e
discontinued. They also suggest
drafting by lottery. The lottery and
college deferment regulations are
expected to meet Congressional
investigation.
New Delhi
The political future of Prime
Minister Indira Gandhi, daughter
of the late Jawaharlal Nehru, and
her Congress party remained in
doubt. While the Congress party,
which had always had overwhelm-ing
majorities, maintained control
in the recent elections, their con-trol
is at an all time low. Many
party leaders feel that Mrs. Gandhi
must be replaced if they are to
maintain control the next time.
Biggest problem to date: no single
choice for her successor.
Washington
Despite confident predictions of
Adam Clayton Powell and James E.
Johnson that Powell would be seat-ed,
the U.S. House of Representa-tives
decided not to seat the con-troversial
Harlem Negro. They al-lege
that it is not because of race,
but it appears that there must be
some connection whether they like
to admit it or not.
There appeared little doubt that
Mr. Powell could easily win elec-tion
to his seat again.
New Orleans
District Attorney Jim Garrison,
now facing mounting disbelief, ap-peared
unperturbed about com-ments
that he is a sensationalist
charlatan who really has no ground
to stand on in his attempts to show
that President Kennedy was a vic-tim
of a conspiracy. It now seems
apparent that while the Warren
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Established in 1937
■ 3-year B.D. Seminary course for the Christian ministry
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Dr. Merrill C. Tenney, Dean
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' giving details
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Write Dept. BC37
vided for students in the purchase
of required books.
On a wider level, the National
Student Association could make
the public and the publishing in-dustry
aware of the abuse stu-dents
face in the textbook prices.
If housewives can demand fairer
prices for food, a nationally sup.
ported student effort to acquire
more realistic prices is also feas-ible.
It is no doubt true that profits
from texts help to support great
publications that otherwise never
would be printed, but a 96% sup-port
is entirely unrealistic.—ACP'
Band Performs Exciting Concert
For Middling Fieldhouse Crowd
Last Friday night, March 3, the
Bethel College Band presented a
delightful concert to an audience
about the size of chapel at mid-semester
test time (and even that
is stretching it a bit).
Not dismayed by the slim crowd,
however, the band did a superb
job. This was one of the most var-ied
and colorful concerts I have
had the privilege of attending.
From the solemn beauty of "A-bide
With Me" to the exciting
sounds of "La Rosita", the concert
offered something of interest to
almost every personal preference
and mood.
An introduction to each selec-tion
was given by Dale Cope, help-ing
the audience to appreciate the
music even more. (And if one were
trying to write a Fine Arts con-cert
report, it would have been
particularly beneficial.)
The percussion section, consist-ing
of twice as many instruments
as performers, ably fulfilled its
opportunity to star in several num-bers,
notably "La Rosita", which
featured bongo drums among other
unique instruments.
An excellent job was also done
by Karen Newcomb and John Hop-kins,
who performed Mendelssohn's
"Concertpiece for Two Clarinets"
Thanks to Mr. Whitinger and the
band for a very enjoyable concert.
ST. PAUL. MINN. 65117 J. Leonard Carroll, Pastor
2220 EDOERTON STREET AT HWY. 36
Rode owl Zama.
Open bowling
afternoons & evenings
2057 N. Snelling (Across
from Har Mar)
Ph. 631-1142, 631-1143
Italian & American Food
Orders to take out
1611 W. Larpenteur
At Snelling, St. Paul MI 6-2656
Thursday, March 9, 1 .967
the CLARION Page 3
Publishers Gamble On Paperbacks;
Sock College Students For Setbacks
Why are textbooks so expensive,
asks Western Michigan University's
"Western Herald?" Is it the fault
of the university-owned "non-pro-fit"
bookstore whose prices are as
high as those of the profit-making
biokstores? Is the publishing in-dustry
to blame?
Both contribute to the situation,
the Western Herald concluded, but
the greater culprit, without a
doubt, is the publishing industry.
Time magazine recently revealed
that the book industry relies on
textbooks and children's books to
support gambling losses on adult
grade books.
All the major publishers, Time
said, "print text and reference
books, as well as children's
books, which are dependable
moneymakers. Their profitable
textbook and paperback opera-tions
enable them to gamble on
adult trade books— which as a
rule lose money." One publisher
estimated ehat "60% of adult
trade books end up in the red,
another 36% break even, and
only 4% turn a decent profit."
Should students be forced to
bear the brunt of the industry's
losses and non-profits? Publishers
are fully aware that they have the
students over a barrel since stu-dents
must buy particular required
textbooks.
There are two possible solutions
to the dilemma. On a local level,
student government could promote
some type of competitive selling
of new texts. We can buy every-thing
from groceries to automo-biles
on a discounted basis; this
opportunity should also be pro-
The freshmen party could not
have taken place on a better day
—weatherwise. Those who attended
were greeted by an afternoon of
almost perfect March weather. The
weather heightened the pursuit of
the varied activities. Everyone tried
his hand at skiing or sliding—us-ing
the usual vehicles. Then all
gathered in the seminary gymnas-ium
to round off the afternoon in
several games of volleyball. The
refreshments that treated these
hearty ones were doughnuts, hot
chocolate, and hot dogs. All ate to
heart's—er, stomach's delight.
The only dampener to the day's
fun and activities, was the attend-ance.
Only 25 kids showed up—in-cluding,
believe it or not, all of
the freshman class officers. Why
the poor attendance? It was a
shame that more were not able to
attend. They missed out on some
great fun and food.
Poorly Attended
Party A Success
(i‘, :-..)--) ,
Creative
jetveieri
DIAMONDS
IITELL TH' MANAGER THAT-WITH THE NEW EQUIPMENT r THINK
WE GINN ROLD TN ?RICE" ON TH' 5raptivr Sac-cv,o,"
LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS
on Campus mart,.
(By the author of "Rally Round the Flag, Boys!",
"Dobie Gillis," etc.)
WHO'S GOT THE BUTTON?
I'm sure it has not escaped your notice that underlying
the adorable whimsy which has made this column such a
popular favorite among my wife and my little dog Spot,
there is a serious attempt to stay abreast of the problems
that beset the American college student.
Many a trip have I made to many a campus—talking to
undergraduates, listening to their troubles, hearing their
grievances, reading their buttons. (Incidentally, the sec-ond
and third most popular buttons I saw on my last trip
were : "WALLACE BEERY LIVES" and "FLUORI-DATE
MUSCATEL." The first most popular button was,
as we all know, "SCRAP THE SCRAPE" which is worn,
as we all know, by Personna Super Stainless Steel Blade
users who, as we all know, are proud to proclaim to the
world that they have found a blade which gives them
luxury shave after luxury shave, which comes both in
double-edge style and Injector style, which does indeed
scrap the scrape, negate the nick, peel the pull, and oust
the ouch, which shaves so closely and quickly and truly
and beautifully that my heart leaps to tell of it. (If per-haps
you think me too effusive about Personna, I ask you
to remember that to me Personna is more than just a
razor blade ; it is also an employer.)
But I digress. I make frequent trips, as I say, to learn
what is currently vexing the American undergraduate.
Last week, for example, while visiting a prominent Eas-tern
university (Idaho State) I talked to a number of
engineering seniors who posed a serious question. Like
all students, they had come to college burning to fill them-selves
with culture, but, alas, because of all their science
requirements, they simply had had no time to take the
liberal arts courses their young souls lusted after. "Are
we doomed," they asked piteously, "to go through life
uncultured ?"
I answered with a resounding "No !" I told them the
culture they had missed in college, they would pick up
after graduation. I explained that today's enlightened
corporations are setting up on-the-job liberal arts pro-grams
for the newly employed engineering graduate—
courses designed to fill his culture gap—for the truly en-lightened
corporation realizes that the truly cultured em-ployee
is the truly valuable employee.
To illustrate, I cited the well-known case of Champert
Sigafoos of Purdue.
When Champert, having completed his degree in wing
nuts and flanges, reported to the enlightened corporation
where he had accepted employment, he was not rushed
forthwith to a drawing board. He was first installed in
the enlightened corporation's training campus. Here he
was given a beanie, a room-mate, and a copy of the com-pany
rouser, and the enlightened corporation proceeded
to fill the gap in his culture.
First he was taught to read, then to print capital let-ters,
then capital and small letters. (There was also an
attempt to teach him script, but it was ultimately
abandoned.)
From these fundamentals, Champert progressed slowly
but steadily through the more complex disciplines. He
was diligent, and the corporation was patient, and in the
end they were well rewarded, for when Champert fin-ished,
he could play a clavier, parse a sentence, and name
all the Electors of Bavaria.
Poised and cultured, Champert was promptly placed in
an important executive position. I am pleased to report
that he served with immense distinction—not, however,
for long because three days later he reached retirement
age.
Today, still spry, he lives in St. Petersburg, Florida,
where he supplements his pension by parsing sentences
for tourists. * * © 1967, Max Shulman
Here's a sentence that's easy to parse: Subject—"you."
Verb—"double." Object—"your shaving comfort when
you use Burma-Shave, regular or menthol, along with
your Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades."
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28, but Obinger had 25, and Rolli
Kingsley, Dave Pearson, and Car-mean
had 14.
Phelps and Second New stayed
in contention with single victories.
Gary Pangburn with 29 points and
Don Lindberg with 26 led Phelps
past Second Old 91-61, despite a
fine performance by Pete Roemer
who scored 25 points in a losing
cause. Second New whipped As-bury
56-46 with Paul Johnson of
Second New top scorer with 19,
followed by Jon Krause and Toni
Paulson of Asbury with 18 and 16
points.
In other games, Faculty ripped
the Seminary 73-37, and Third Old
outscored Asbury 52-43. Howie Rek-stad
led the Faculty with 19, and
Jim Duddleston scored 22 for Third
Old.
Floor and Tim Daniels of Third
New tied for the game scoring
leadership with 23 points. Dick
Schultz and Jon Christian followed
with 16 and 12 points. Against the
Seminary Christian had 21, Fast
18, but Terry Port of the Semin-ary
had 22.
The Pit beat Third Old 63-44,
and Third New 80-50 in spite of
the presence of Leonard Sammons
on the Pit team. Against Third Old
John Delich scored 18, Craig Car-mean
14, and Ben Obinger 13
Dave Anderson and Jim Duddle-ston
had 15 and 14 points respec-tively
for Third Old.
The Third New game was a tough
and bloody battle, despite the dif-ference
in the score. Paul Johnson
of Third New was high scorer with
Garnet's Standard Service
Friendly
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ARDEN INN
N. Snelling and Co. Rd. B. OPEN:
Sundays noon to 9 p.m. Daily 11 a.m.-
2 p.m., 5-9 p.m. Closed Mondays.
MI 4 • 2147
by Lynn A. Bergfalk
All that is left to remind us of winter athletics is a dirty
blanket of snow, but before packing them away in mothballs, a
few reflections are perhaps due on the wrestling team. The
1966-67 edition of the wrestlers found rough going most of
the season, but ended with a flourish by taking two of their last
three.
One of the basic causes of the lean year was the absence
of returning nucleus of lettermen. Although replacing personnel
losses from graduation or other causes is a problem every team
must face to some degree, relatively few squads must face a
100% turnover. However, when injuries gleaned the last two
returning lettermen from the squad well before the season's
midpoint, this was exactly the situation that faced the Bethelites.
With the number of experienced grapplers from last
year's squad reduced to zero, the season-long personnel short-age
became even more critical. Seldom could Coach Al Taylor
field a full team. In several meets forfeits handed the oppo-sition
its winning points.
Like a soap opera, however, everything turned out on the
brighter side as the matmen won a couple of squeakers for a
season finishing taste of victory. But even more satisfying than
the victorious finish is the prospect of winning seasons in the
near future.
This year's squad was composed primarily of freshmen,
with a sprinkling of upper classmen. Many of the grapplers
had not wrestled previously. Since experience is one of the most
important factors in winning wrestling, the lack of this was one
of the problems which had to be faced. The number shortage
forced inexperienced men into actual competition by necessity.
Although this didn't result in many wins for the Royals, the
experience it yielded should prove valuable in the future.
Several freshmen turned in fine performances in their
initial collegiate efforts. Bob Olsen, besides running up a
sparkling 16-0 record, was a team leader. Barry Anderson
was another consistent performer, compiling the second best
won-lost record on the squad.
In the lighter weights Dan Versaw and Steve Anderson
provided the Royals with two more frosh letter winners. John
Griffiths helped out in the upper weights, his wrestling prowess
only exceeded by the brilliance of his wit.
Having established a "freshman nucleus" this season, it
appears that the Royals should be able to pad the victory column
with a few more wins each winter for several years in the near
future—starting next December.
Page 4
the CLARION Thursday, March 9, 1967
Frankson Squeaks Past Second New
For Top Spot During Heavy I-A1 Slate
tla -
–Catge Selection
414 WEDDING
INVITATIONS and
.• ANNOUNCEMENTS
NAPKINS
BRIDAL BOOKS
ACCESSORIES
Fast Service,
Beautiful Styles, „°
Reasonably Priced! .1:3
Argus Stationery Store
2333 Central Ave. N.E.
Minneapolis, Minn.
Store hours: 8:30 a.m. to
5:30 p.m. weekdays
Friday until 8:00 p.m.
Phone 789-3035
by Tom Stocking
Frankson took over the lead in
the intramural basketball league
with wins over Second Old 71-34,
and Second New 45-42.
Both Frankson and Second New
brought undefeated records into
the game. It was a close and hard
played contest throughout, but
Frankson prevailed. Bill Malyon led
the scoring with 18 points, Craig
Peterson of Second New had 13,
and Al Selander 10. In smashing
Second Old, Malyon had 23, Andy
Lehman 16, and Doug Carlson 14,
while Paul Johnson led Second Old
with 15.
First Floor and the Pit also won
two games this week. First Floor
defeated Third New 63-49 and the
Seminary 73-42. Lee Fast of First
